To trust or not to trust…..

It seems like it would be so easy, but we all have our issues and this is one of mine.  How can people be hurt over and over and still find a way to trust someone?  I get the “you create your own reality” concept and I see how my reality is shaped around my belief, but how do you change the belief if everything you see confirms it.  Life is a series of vicious cycles.  Not that any cycle can’t be broken, but making the break is the trick.  Those sort of things are more easily said than done.  Now I also think things don’t have to be hard to change, but most of the time that is how it seems to go.  So here I am tyring to make that break.  Can I just jump into the deep end?  If I do, will I hit my head and drown?  If I go under, will I be able to get back out?  It seems so drastic and so very “all or nothing” but you feel how you feel.

Maybe it is less me and more the actions of others that cause my lack of trust.  It is easy to lay the blame at the feet of others, but in actuality it is all mine.  No matter what has happened to me or out of me, no matter what I have seen done to others.  And as we know if all is choice, I have the option of safety instead of sticking my neck out so it can possibly be chopped off.  Or I can risk it.  What is the worst that could happen?  I feel hurt, stupid, embarrassed, or the worst……unlovable.  Well, I have felt all those things before and I am still here.  As awful as those things could be, I just won’t get what I truly want if I am too afraid of looking stupid.

So I am setting out to jump off the deep end……..

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 31st, 2009 at 9:57 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.